weird, weird, weird

Okay, I came home to this the other night.   That's the spindle with the paper towels.

I asked what happened, not that I care I guess, but there must be some explanation.

It was Lydia.  "I wanted to see how long it was, but then it didn't roll back up all that well."

Yes, indeed. It did not.

Then today I was on the bed, talking on the phone with my mom, and glanced over at this little birdhouse.  It's a cute trinket, probably a gift from my parents for the kids to paint.  It's been on this table next to the bed for a few months now.

Okay, and look what I saw:

That is a bunch of bitten bagels.    Someone shoved them in there. I don't eat bagels, so we know it wasn't me.

Hmmm.  Who would do this?

love you squirrels,  Mom, aka Grandma

fireworks, 2013

We went to them, and the little kids are so little they don't really remember Lori.  They know her through the voice of all the rest of us.

Well, the story is this:  For years and years, Lori would have us to her house for supper, and make bbq chicken, and late in the evening, we'd hike down a little rut of a trail to a viewing spot and watch fireworks.

So now we must do this without her.

The first year was the worst.  Other people lived in her house and we had no where to go, just each other.

But we found a new spot on the lumpy boulevard between the Chinese restaurant and the service road that buffers the highway.

And we have fun.  We love her far too much not to.

This is old history, been even on this blog before, but here we go again, another July summer night--2007, another bunch of fireworks, indistinguishable from any that have gone before:

"We went to the fireworks tonight, like we do mid-July every year.   Lori used to have us for supper and then we’d head down the hill from her house, following the little rut of a trail to the boulevard between the street and parking lot at the mall, sit on blankets together and watch fireworks.  We’d apply bug spray and there was bickering and also laughing.  So now we go to remember her.  Plus these are quite awesome fireworks.

Today though I’ve been so down, introspective, anxious.  I always get anxious when money is tight, yet we’re sure been in worse spots than this. This is seriously not a big deal.  Customers will pay. We’ll pay our bills. It’s business as usual, so why it’s stressing me out, I don’t know.     I suppose because two are tax bills and taxes always freak me out. You know they can FINE you and torture you and what-all I don’t even know.   So far, in all these years, it has not happened.  But it could. No, it isn’t.  But it could.  I told my brain to shut up, but I still felt a little short of breath.

We spread out blankets on the hard lumpy boulevard grass in front of the Chinese restaurant tonight.  We found this spot the year after Lori died.  Other people lived in her house; we had nowhere to go, so we improvised.   But it’s a great viewing spot.  We had our 8 youngest kids with us tonight, the little ones in pjs, and they were laughing and taking goofy pictures with a digital camera while we waited.  

Inside the Chinese restaurant, yellow lighting glowed against red satin wallpaper and dark laminate tables.  As the fireworks began, colors lighting the sky, loud pops and bangs, smoke illuminated from all angles in flashes, I thought, “Lori, Lori, Lori, Lori.  How could you leave me?”  Then I thought, well it wasn’t as if she had a choice.  She didn’t want to either.   Then it was just, “I miss you so much,” that old kick in the chest, and the kids and flowered pajamas, fireworks, colors all blurred together in the dark.

Then a baby appeared at my elbow, a little guy about a year and a half old, wispy hair, round belly.  He recognized kids—they always recognize their own kind—and came to sit with us.  In a minute, his socially appropriate parents tried to drag him off, “Come sit with Mommy.”  I could hear him angrily fussing at them, and when I looked he was arching his back while they tried to distract him.   I told them we did not mind if he sat with us. We like friends.   So they left him go, and he ran to sit close beside Julia and me.  

 I touched his hair, rubbed his tiny back.   His parents crouched next to us commenting on the fireworks, did he see them?  He didn’t; he was looking from one kid to the next with a grin on his face.   Lori loved babies as much as I do, and this guy with his handsome Hispanic dad and cute biker mom, was quite adorable.  It turns out the baby’s name was Timothy Dean, and I introduced him to our own Timothy Dennis, who was quite pleased to meet him.    It all felt like a hug on a beautiful summer night.

No conclusions to be drawn, nothing.   When the fireworks ended, we waved good-bye to sweet Timothy Dean and his parents, folded up our blankets and headed home for bed—the end of July 15, 2007."

One of my most favorite-ist pictures:  Lori and Little Jay:

Lori, Lori, Lori.  How very loved you are.

Good night.  The sweetness of July kind of carries the whole year.   love you all, Val

to kirsten's house for the parade

 She's right on the parade route, so we have to take advantage of this.  Plus, she's an excellent cook.

b.g is wearing his hearing protection in this picture.  (My Sweetie doesn't care about noise, obviously.)  But Dan is a thoughtful dad and knowing how parades stressed the kid out last year with their sirens and drumming, he bought the kid ear muffs.

It worked out.  He wore them and didn't wear them as he wished.  As Dan stated, it gave him control over the situation.

Nice.

She had the ear muffs on at points too, but here they're just using the old fashioned fingers-in-the-ears method.

 Him?  He's always sweet and fuzzy.

Cute girls soaking up the HEAT of the dang afternoon SUN.

 He can't even look up to see.

This girl is not part of our group, though we would claim her if ever necessary.  That fake skunk on a leash and the drummer sent her Welsh Corgi into some kind of maniac state. They finally gave up and went home at some point because of the dog's distress.

Oh yeah, him and me.  No we did not coordinate our outfits.  He put that on and said nothing to me.  I raced home from a real estate appointment and changed into shorts and a sleeveless blouse before running over to Kirsten's.   But by magic, we are twins.  (Sort of.  Not identical, just so you know.)

 And this beautiful girl has an appointment in the morning regarding her poor injured foot.

Can she give up the crutches?

She's super agile on them, but enough is enough, eh?

GOOD LUCK, m.c.

Thank you Kirsten for hosting all of us to this fun summer occasion.  It was fantastic.  love, MOM

moving day

There are very few pictures, unless others took them.   There was too much to do.

Late in the afternoon, the babies arrived and congregated in the family room and back yard.

This was too hazardous. The hill is narrow and they roll real crooked.

This dining room set was in my parents home when I was a little girl, then went to Wisconsin to my grandparents.   Now since Grandma died, it has come back to John's house.  (Their other house didn't have a dining room.)   Jay's brother's wife, Barb, and Lydia unwrapped their wedding dishes and put them in the matching cabinet. 

I stood there for a minute, taking it all in, all the loss and ambivalence.

It was a great day, a lot of work and a lot of fun.

When Dannell was putting the kids to bed I went upstairs and got into bed with the kids.  The little guy asked me what I was chewing, and of course it was lemon gum, but I told him, "It's an old dirty sock of yours."

He didn't answer, just considered that absurdity for a second. Then he said, "Blow a bubble."

"I can't blow a bubble with an old sock!"

He laughed.   And then we called it a night and came home.

John and Dannell are trying to find their stuff today in boxes set in the wrong rooms and working through unpacking, and it's all good.    love you all so, Mom

all of it

Here they tonight on the front steps of their new house.

I love selling real estate.

When people find their house it's always a magical combination of logic and emotion.  Logic gets you to the houses that will work, but there's some abstract quality that tells a person this is home.

I love it when that moment arrives.  Then every other house we look at is measured against that one.

The closing was managed by a person I enjoy and and trust and rely on.  She did not disappoint--never has.

Then John and I painted a couple rooms.   We spend very little time together just the two of us, but today it was hours, painting in the quiet and it was lovely.

These excited guys arrived, whirling with energy.

And this lovely child with a healing foot--dang she's fast getting around without one foot.

 And she indulges me with  a smile.

When you bought your first house, I sent a card that said something like this:

May your home be made beautiful by the faces of family and friends who visit there, and may you find many reasons to be happy while you live beneath its roof.

It still works, still true.

Onward to tomorrow.  love you all so, Mom

soccer camp

We signed up for summer activities quite a while ago.   This week is soccer camp, and they like it a lot.

Plus it's good for them--two hours running outside, getting their energy out.   There is one college student running this show, and the kids argue--but he's patient, keeps things moving.

This is the playground that looks so inviting to them as they play soccer, so we spent a few minutes there yesterday before we headed back home.

I do love summer.    This July was a long time getting here, but it's been fabulous.  love, Val

nine years old

It's not her birthday yet, but next week it will be, and she's turning nine.

I'm chasing after mosquitoes right here in the bedroom like Jay was the night she was born, whacking them near the ceiling with a towel: "No mosquitoes are going to sting our newborn baby."

A couple days ago when we came home from the lake there was a package waiting for her, and her eyes were huge, "I know what this is!"  It was a doll sent by Jay's parents.  

She lifted her from the box and I said, "She looks just like YOU."

"Yeah, I know. Grandma ordered her that way."

Wow.

She's been carrying her around, practicing braiding hair and doing outfits.

So we took this very happy picture to send to Grandma and Grandpa who live pretty far away, though not as far as some grandparents do.

Thank you guys, for making a kid very happy.  love, Jay and Val and JULIA