school? why?

Yesterday my daughter in law and I were talking about t.c. and what a nut he is. His mom and I are a little worried about when he goes to school, hoping he gets teachers who appreciate him. I hate that he'll have to go at all, be molded by that place. I'd love to see him just continue on at home being his own crazy self.

I don't know how circumstances will evolve, but I doubt it'll include homeschool. His mom is a teacher and she'll make sure he isn't too squashed by any mean teachers, but the system itself isn't kind.

But here's the thing: Elementary school does not matter. It's irrelevant for educational purposes at that age, and it's an unhealthy place to spend your childhood.

I didn't think any of this when I started homeschooling. We began because of dyslexia, though at first we didn't even know what we were dealing with.

I look around at the kids I know who are in school, and some are doing well. But that PLACE takes a toll on them, how they perceive themselves. It's hard on all of them, and it's sad knowing that too.

They shouldn't be subjected to everyone else's opinion of them all the time--grades on their papers, grades on their math worksheets, judgement judgement all the time, dancing to everyone else's tune..the social pecking order and fear of humiliation.

In the school system others tell them who they are--they don't really have the room to discover that on their own. And then there's all how they're SUPPOSED to be, and if they aren't that way, then tough luck.

I have some squirrely boys and a couple calm ones. The stuff that has been said to me about my squirrels absolutely stuns me. Have they no idea what little boys are like? If they were actually being fresh little brats, I would understand. But they're not. They're just squirrels. I have to protect them from old bags with no sense of humor and no patience.

(This kid is actually one of the calm ones.)

Oprah had a show a few years ago about mixed race kids and how they felt about themselves and race. Mariah Carey was one of the guests. I can't remember the others. But as I listened to them talking, it emerged that none of them felt uncomfortable among all their various colors of relatives. Where they felt like they didn't fit was at SCHOOL.

And the great guru Oprah sat there nodding, of course, of course. Nobody questioned school itself, it's value, or its role. I wish those conversations would happen, how it's safe to be a squirrel at home, to be your own weird self, to learn your own rhythms and preferences in peace, and figure out how to get things done as YOU. love, Val