It's your birthday in just a few hours, born at 1 am on April 1. The night you were born I had locked myself in the bathroom, feeling a bit miserable, and Dad came tapping on the door around 11 pm. I cracked the door open, "What do you want?"
He said, "Are you about to have the baby?"
"I doubt it."
"No? Well, if you could hold off ONE MORE HOUR, it'd be an April Fool's Baby."
Okay, great. Good to know.
We have actual video of Kirsten hula-hooping and the hula hoop bonking you in your bald, stroller head.
When John and I were at the grocery store one evening, and you were parked in the cart, striped tassel hat on your head, print corduroy coat, and corduroy booties tied on your feet, big fat red cheeks, Mr. Adorable, a neighbor approached us and said, "Oh my God! You had ANOTHER one!" and went on a bit about how crazy were were before we all moved on.
John growled, "She didn't even say hi to Jay."
Well, a kid in this family would have the good sense to greet the baby personally. As a person. Not everyone does.
While we were baking Christmas cookies later that year, as you sat in the stroller BITCHING, we contemplated pushing your stroller out to the curb with a sign, "Cute baby, Cheap." But no, we persevered, and you outgrew your grumpy days and became a truly spectacular guy.
(Later that summer at Green Lake, with my mom and Kirby, nice and bald.)
A while back I told Dad I kind of felt like I didn't even deserve you, an extraordinary kid so nice I felt just kind of grateful to be your mom.
He was half paying attention to me, like he usually is, distracted. He said, "I don't know why you'd say that. He's like the male version of YOU."
"What?" I felt stunned and a little flattered and confused.
He said, "Yeah, he's half blind and can't take the cold..."
Okay, then. Probably you should stop there then, anyways... as I was saying.
It's been nothing but a privilege being your mom these past 24 years, and Dad agrees.
You've brought us so much happiness, have been a gift to this whole family.
We're all lucky having you as ours, brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, grandmas and grandpas too.
Happy Birthday, and love forever, MOM and DAD and EVERYBODY