another point of moving on

Okay, so she had some fun stuff she was thinking about taking to Goodwill and called us first.

Hot pink polka-dot comforter with shams. Fuchsia and orange quilt. Striped sheets. A crazy chandelier. A floor lamp. Trinkets.

Yes, yes, and more yes. The girls were excited.


She brought them by, and she's a ball of energy who makes everything special. The kids adore her mostly because of the way she tunes in and notices them. Even my big teenagers slide up to the side and squeeze her. It's the beanie babies she brought them when they were little, the teasing and jokes, the bear hugs since they were tiny.

One morning in church, she reached over the pew and took wiggly Julia by the hand and they left. In a little while they came back and she whispered, "We had to go potty."

Julia got on my lap again and the evidence of the truth was right there.

I whispered back, "She smells like donuts!"

"Just ONE donut HOLE."

She's my buddy, and I have no idea why she ever befriended me, but I love that she did.

My life is better with her in it. She brought qualities I didn't even realize were lacking, and it was like turning on a light switch, but she said we make her "believe it's possible," whatever that means. She actually said that.

I showed her Tim's room. "You gotta see this."

She took one look at the ceiling and the sponge painting, grabbed Tim and said, "Timothy! This is child abuse!"

He laughed, but he agrees. This thing with the ceiling is dreadful, and we've battled this ceiling now, damned flat roof, for 22 years. We're so over it too.

t.c. told others he couldn't sleep in Tim's room when he stayed because, "There are holes in the ceiling and buckets everywhere."

Okay, that was one terrible day, not every day. There hasn't been a single drip in there now in weeks--since we cleared off that bad ice dam.

But it's grim.

So anyway.

Jay hung up the chandelier in Maria's before it ended up broken in some tragic accident involving an 8 year old boy and a toy jackhammer.

About the 80s hearts and flowers wallpaper that I'm very sentimental about because it's all about Heidi and Kirsten's childhood, she very un-sentimentally said, "Oh. No. I think that might be child abuse too." The pink gingham curtains I sewed in 1990? She shook her head no.

She's right. It's over. Whether we redecorate or not, those girls are grown women and their sweet childhood bedroom matters only to me and I can let go of the physical and still love the memory.

When I was a kid, there was an upstairs bedroom at my grandparents where it felt high in the trees like the girls' room does. It had a curved wall and big rose wallpaper, a mirror with a maple frame and an iron baby crib in the corner.

They were so pleased one weekend when we arrived to show us they'd remodeled the room. The curved wall was now flat. The wallpaper was replaced with PANELING. The crib and mirror were gone.

I'm sure that experience plays its part in my reluctance to change this bedroom.

that chandelier is so pretty

The ceiling fan they tied Barbie dolls to with the belts from their bathrobes? That thing is long gone. Kirsten said they played with the ceiling fan more than most of their toys. Sigh. I didn't know. It's not like they asked permission.

Upstairs is a whole different world. I can feel it as I'm climbing the stairs.

I told Tim he'd have to move up to Jay's bed when he goes back to college, so we can work on his room.

He's pretty pleased. James looked less impressed.

And after that, Maria and I are going to take down the old wallpaper. I honestly still really like it, even all these years later, but I can do it. Yes, I can.

Thanks, Jody. You make me a better person.

We love you. Val

Okay, look--to the left, Besse Pease Gutmann, and the right is a framed, embroidered thing Jay's sister made for Heidi when she was BORN. It's still on the wall up there. Heidi is 26 years old. Oh Jody. It was time for an intervention.