complaining, gray layer, more complaining

Why is my house so dirty??? It’s that dog. Night before last I dreamed I was cleaning for Thanksgiving and everything was outrageously filthy. I woke up and laughed, “Oh, it’s not that bad.” (...but it is...almost.)

Thanksgiving is my holiday though, and everyone’s coming to my house for dinner and there cannot be dog hair in the food, good Lord, no, no, no. It’s freaking me out, Girls, just like it always does. Jay said something last night about my “frantic little eyes” when I was talking about it.

It’s the dog hair I really can’t stand. We have enough Gray Layer around here—you know that little layer at the edges and in the nooks and crannies—the Barbie shoes and gum wrappers, light bright pegs, pennies, Legos, all bound together with dog hair and dust bunnies. It accumulates under radiators and couch cushions…..you know it when you see it.

The dog has rashes the vet says are allergies, probably to dust. My mother howled, “She’s the source of 9/10 of it!” I know it. Last year when I was whining to her and actually cried a little about the endless mess, she urged me to get rid of the dog. Find her a new home, but I can’t. She’s a sweet animal and James… well, he started out his autobiography like this: “I was born on March 10, 1997. On January 23, 2006, I got my dog Samantha…”

So I’m at it today. I’ve washed the kitchen floor three times and by the third round, virtually no dog hair. First round there was a big sloggy ball of hair that I scooped out of the water to throw in the trash. No need to clog the drain too, right? So that’s progress.

I’ve got my little shop vac out now and we’re gonna hit the family room next. Ugh—MAJOR Gray Layer in there. Frightening. I can hear them fooling around out there, supposedly studying Venus, but there’s way too much laughing and thumping for that to be happening.

Last time I asked James to Swiffer, Julia decided to be cute and jumped on the Swiffer and BROKE it, so now the handle is taped with duct tape and popsicle sticks, and that aggravates me too. Why you gotta wreck stuff? Isn’t it bad enough I have to Swiffer ten times a day without goofballs breaking my equipment? You darn kids. And your darn dog. And stand up straight, I'm talking to you! Salute your mother!

Okay, enough bitching.

Onward. I’m gonna be okay.

Love, Val

Here are a couple pictures from last year, and nobody choked off on dog hair, it's true. Do you see any dog hair in these pictures? It'll all be fiiiiiine. I know, I know.