Wednesday, November 18, 2009

shit balls


Maria reading with Sidney

Oh my gosh. Tonight Kirsten came over to keep Maria company and hold down the fort while we were at Jay’s National Honor Society thing.

Late in the evening, as the baths progressed, and Kirsten and I were dealing with the kids and the house winding down for the evening, Kari launched into her story.

Okay the back story: Maria’s gone to school for the first time this year and her dog Sidney Annie is left here all day without her. Sidney, previous to this, spent most of her life tucked under Maria’s chin. She’s a fluffy , cottony lhasa poo, little bitty ten pound dog, a scaredy cat, but sweet as can be.

Here’s the next chapter of the back story: Now that Maria’s gone all day, Kari and Sidney have been hanging out, becoming buds. Kari’s nine, same age Maria was when she got Sidney, and it’s working. The dog is not lonely or neglected when Maria is gone, and Kari has a new friend.

Well at bedtime, Maria wants Sidney in bed with her. We have an owl in the back yard some nights and this is worrisome with a dog as delicate and tasty as Sidney. Maria misses Sidney during the day and can’t sleep easy unless her baby is in bed with her. But she gets up early for school now and goes to bed early also, and she comes to gather Sidney some nights before the dog is really ready to go to bed.

WELL, that brings us to the point:

So tonight Kari did a little one-act play where she did both the part of Maria and Sidney (conveyed by use of a red chintz pillow.) She imitated Maria’s stompy way of walking, her tone. It was a priceless impersonation of Maria, overplayed a little, but sooo recognizable, and the pillow rebelled in exaggeration and growled, snarled, tried to bite. She scolded the rambunctious pillow, “Don’t bite me!”

About that time the real Maria came down the stairs, and Kari, caught in the act, said, “Shit balls,” and threw herself down innocently in the chair.

Maria stared at us and demanded to know what was going on. Kirsten was unable to speak, she was laughing so hard. I told Maria it was an impersonation of her.

She said, “I have never said shit balls in my entire life.” Well, no not that part exactly. Oh my gosh.

Tumbled over fits of hysteria, not particularly amusing to Maria, who does not suffer fools, gladly or otherwise.


After a moment, she gathered her little dog, looking SOOO much like Kari’s impersonation of her we almost died holding ourselves together until we heard her door shut upstairs. Then we were gone. My ribs hurt. Kirsten couldn’t get air.

Shortly after that, the subject of James’ math came up and Kirsten said she’d had her fill of hilarity and had to go home.

I’ve never said shit balls either, just so you know. Love, Val

The famous actress herself...what ARE we going to do about the ROOM?

2 comments:

  1. This post really made me smile today. A happy family is full of people that can laugh at each other, and can take it when they're the subject of the joke.

    Spontaneous variations on swear words is a sign of a smart kid ;) My new phrase for the week: Shit balls.

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  2. Oh you're an angel, put a positive spin on one my scruffy family. Even in the swearing, you find the silver lining, lol. Thanks Heather

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